Remarks by Bill Malloy III
I want to start and end with the same concepts as I describe the life of Shenell Malloy. She had a wonderful life but also a hard life, and no matter what, she stayed positive. At our very core of being human, we all start out in this world wanting love and to feel safe. When Shenell left our world, I can tell you with 100% conviction that is what she wanted. She wanted to feel love and to feel safe.
I am going to tell you a story about a beautiful woman tonight.
Being an Overachiever and Family Roots
Shenell was an overachiever in everything she did in her life. She was the daughter of Chum and Paul Slayton.
Shenell’s mom, Chum, was one of 10 siblings who were originally from Vietnam. Chum’s father, Shenell’s grandfather, was helping the US Army during the Vietnam War. Their family was literally on the last plane out of Vietnam before the invasion. The plane behind them was shot down.
Paul and his family were what I call some of the OG families in California. Imagine the stagecoach coming across the US to California. They had their roots in construction and real estate.
If I were to describe her upbringing, she was always surrounded by her family, her aunts, and her sister. Was she sometimes rebellious in Sacramento? 100%.
College and Making Her Way to Southern California
Shenell was one of a kind and at the same time, there were many different parts of her.
She was a space cadet and laser focused. Silly and hyper-intelligent. Beautiful and approachable. Obsessive and peaceful. She could be at home in a drum circle and a boardroom. A confident person who second guessed herself in secret. Responsible and a little reckless. A whisper of a woman who loved to eat. Incredibly accepting and open minded, but firm and opinionated with an answer for everything. Easy breezy and stubborn as an ox. A realist and a dreamer. An optimizer for excellence. She was the master of getting what she wanted with a mix of manifestation and pure grit.
She’d look lost in a daydream but then chime in with a perfectly well-thought-out statement. She had no problem lip-syncing the wrong words to her favorite songs. She loved corny love ballads and slapstick comedies. She whooped when she laughed really hard.
She was a spectrum of people and things. It’s why she was so loved – everyone could see a piece of themselves in her. She floated around. She sparkled.
When people looked at Shenell, they assumed she was perfect and her life was easy. It wasn’t. She faced challenges, loss, and disappointment. She worked hard every day of her life. She was a fighter and a warrior. Her mind was never at rest. She spent a lot of time in her head, reflecting. She was toughest on herself.
San Diego and Marriage
As I reflect on conversations with friends, family, and loved ones, Shenell was the same person growing up that she was when she had everything she could ever want at her fingertips. She was just authentic at her core.
When I first met Shenell, she was a hustler, the most tenacious person I’d ever met. She was like a dog with a bone when she had a goal. You either got on board or got out of her way. She built her own business in her twenties with her business partner, Patrick. She took special joy in finding and unlocking impossible situations. Patrick, you were like a brother to her, so thank you.
As I think about our early time together, her beauty and elegance were something that just pulled me closer to her every day. Yes, on the outside, but even more importantly on the inside. She and I were actually friends for years before we started dating. The first night I met her I 100% hit on her and she literally wanted nothing to do with me! I can remember when we were friends – I would have a date at a dinner on one side of me, Shenell had her boyfriend on the other side of her, and I would just lean in and talk to Shenell like no one else was in the room.
She made me a better person, day in and day out; it was in everything she did, how she made me look at the world, and how I treated others.
Shenell had a deep love for a few things:
Good Food – For anyone that knew Shenell, her love for food was unmatched. I think food is 90% of why she agreed to marry me. The turning moment from friendship to dating was over lobster tacos. I went out with some friends to grab lobsters at night off Black Beach and we all caught our limit. I brought them home and did a big family-style taco night at my beach house in Bird Rock. I think her eyes literally turned into heart-shaped eyes that night. It was a love that we shared in our early years and even after her cancer diagnosis when we switched to farm-to-table and keto. We always made it fun and enjoyable to enjoy all types of food together. On one trip to Italy, we literally ate at so many Michelin star restaurants in a row that we had to stop and just go eat a slice of pizza because after about 10 Michelin meals it became too much for even her.
White Beaches – White sand and turquoise water sound familiar to anyone? She loved long walks on the beach, and it was therapy for her. She referred to things as medicine or poison, and the beach was her biggest medicine. We planned our lives around it. Travel, times with friends, times with family – it all revolved around the beach. She did love the ocean, but let’s be honest – it needed to be 85 degrees or warmer for her to step foot in it!
Dancing – I remember after her first diagnosis, she battled through chemo and radiation, and we took a trip to Bora Bora. She was just free. Dancing, spinning on the beach in the evening as the sun set in this pink and blue dress, spinning around, soaking up all that it was to be alive.
Laughter – Shenell made me feel like I was the funniest person in the world. That was just her charm – she was so easily amused and had this deep laughter that was uncontrollable at times. She would start to give a slight laugh and before we knew it, she would get into this belly laugh that was uncontrollable and then that would make me laugh even harder!
Kids and a Mother
She was told she’d never have kids – she had two perfect ones. She almost seemed to will the victories in her life. There is a timeless love for Hayden and Ella that is and always will be around them to protect them.
The reality is that I am the father that I am today because of Shenell. She not only helped guide and nurture two amazing children, but she helped me be the father that I am today. There are no words or stories to extend the volume of love that she had for Hayden and Ella. Everything that she did in her life, and I mean literally everything, was with them at the center of it.
As a mother and friend to so, so many, her friends would describe her as having a quiet confidence and incredible blend of gentleness and strength. She was a magnet, drawing people into her aura effortlessly. She was always the coolest girl in the room. Shenell had this amazing ability to make everyone around her feel loved, seen, and special.
Cancer
Let’s be honest, cancer sucks.
Some of you may be shocked but 1) we were traveling and 2) we were with the Hansen family when she first started to show signs of what ended up being a brain tumor. The details of the process don’t matter at this point, but I will say we were surrounded by a network and eventually doctors that quite literally saved her life. February 8th, 2019 changed our lives forever. We talked a lot about this, but in reflection and with time, cancer could have been one of the best things that happened to us. It gave us five amazing years to live like there is no tomorrow.
She lived against the odds, and she spent her bonus time on Earth so well. Instead of making her windfall all about her, she created Do Cancer. She spent hours, weeks, years making our non-profit exactly what she wanted. She pushed so hard. Thank you to Brenna, Aidan, and everyone else that was lucky enough to get to create it with her – you got a front row seat to her new passion and purpose. It could be exhausting, but it was also amazing to see how much energy someone could give to something they would never get anything from. It was her labor of love.
It was hard to be Shenell in her last five years. It took so much more than a positive mindset and total dedication to health. She had to walk through this world balancing the tension of life and death every day. And she made it look easy. Every day she’d take calls from people diagnosed with glioblastoma who needed her to be their beacon of hope. Every day she’d put on a brave face and be the person that hundreds of Do Cancer patients and people struggling all over the world needed her to be. Shenell shared advice, fought for people to get into better hospitals, and shared everything she learned in real-time. She over-delivered, unselfishly. She gave everything she had to her peers who were also fighting to live.
Here’s a look at Do Cancer’s impact:
· Approaching 300,000 people who got free, helpful information from all over the world.
· Approaching 500 people have applied to our Program; we have been able to offer help to EVERY SINGLE ONE in some capacity.
· Approaching 700 cancer kits that have been sent to people.
· THIS is what people suffering want – HOPE that you can extend your life, despite the diagnosis. PROOF that you can have quality of life. HELP from survivors who had been there. She saw that missing from care, so she CREATED IT. In her darkest hour, she was focused on OTHERS.
She lived beautifully for five years. Traveling with her family. Working on Do Cancer. Focusing on what truly mattered in her life. We hit so many beautiful milestones, took wonderful trips, and had lots of long talks.
She said during this time, “I am not a victim. There are no victims in this room. I am grateful that God is giving me the opportunity to be much stronger.”
That was Shenell: a true warrior and angel on Earth, inspiring and instilling hope in so many.
Thank you to everyone here: business partners that kept the businesses going, friends that supported us, family members that were there at all hours. It literally took an army to get through diagnosis, treatment, and eventually recovery. Shenell turned what is one of the most deadly forms of cancer into a positive. She chose to take this experience and have an impact on the world.
Reoccurrence
In late December 2023 the bomb dropped on us. If cancer sucks, a recurrence sucks times infinity. I to this day have no idea how Shenell did it, but every day she shined positivity, and her light shined brighter than the previous day.
At this point, the disease was in control. Things turned quickly, and she clearly knew what was happening but didn’t give in. She fought to the end to finish her medical trial, to work on her ailing body, to do everything right. She left it all on the field.
What was incredible to watch was how she was never bitter. During her last five years she had every right to be angry and bitter – especially the last few months. But she wasn’t. She remained hopeful, diligent, and overall – trusting. That there was a plan. That she could only control so much and had to accept the outcome. All that was left was the gentle, peaceful pieces of her at the end.
I want to bring this all together so you can all dance the night away.
All our lives can be told in a story. I want to end with the same concept that I started with. She had a wonderful life, but also a hard life, and no matter what, she stayed positive. At our very core of being human, we all start out in this world wanting love and to feel safe.
What, if anything, would Shenell want to leave you all with this evening?
Take positivity and love and make everyone around you feel a sense of peace and safety.
Live everyday like it is your last. This is not lip service…you need to do this from this day forward. Life is short and fragile. You don’t get second chances.
Take tomorrow and write your own story. What do you want it to say at your celebration of life?
Thank you all. Shenell loves you.